Situations That Trigger ADHD Rage & One Simple Trick to Calm the F Down

I've discovered the key to finding peace when these everyday moments wreck havoc on my head

I don’t think I’m an angry person.

My girlfriend and I joke about how the moments that would make any regular person fall into a fit of rage generally have zero effect on my overall mood.

However…the little things. The little things make me see red in an instant.

Here are just a few of those little things…

If you have ADHD like me, you’ll probably recognize a few of the following situations as rage-inducing. They might seem small to others, but for the ADHD army, they can feel like significant disruptions.

If any of these resonate, you’ll want to read until the end for a simple yet effective way to calm yourself down.

The Frustration of Being Told What to Do

Nothing gets under my skin quite like being told to do something I was already planning to do. It’s not just an annoyance—it feels like my autonomy is being ripped away with one set of instructions.

Suddenly, I feel defensive, even when I logically know it’s not a big deal. The mere act of someone instructing me make the task feel burdensome instead of something I was about to complete willingly.

Uncontrollable Noises Are the Worst

Random, loud noises are a special kind of torture. Think ambulance sirens blaring, a lawn mower roaring to life, an air conditioner kicking on unexpectedly, or a dog barking incessantly. A busy supermarket and a Rage Against the Machine concert are the same level of disruption to my brain.

These sounds don’t just distract me—they feel unbearable.

The Overwhelming Chaos of Loud, Busy Places

Walking into a crowded room filled with conversations, clinking dishes, and blaring background music is an instant stress trigger. My brain struggles to filter out the excess stimuli, and before I know it, my stress levels are through the roof.

It’s exhausting trying to stay calm and collected when my surroundings feel completely overwhelming.

The Battle with Instructions

Simple instructions are not so simple for me. What seems straightforward to everyone else can feel like a confusing maze. Kid’s homework, recipes, user manuals—anything with step-by-step instructions can frustrate me.

And don’t even get me started on opening packaging. If you think you’re great at following instructions, take a moment to read the actual instructions on a box of mac and cheese. I bet you’ve been doing it wrong.

Sensory Sensitivity Turns the World Up to Eleven

For those of us with ADHD, everything feels more intense.

Lights can feel blinding, sounds overwhelming, and certain textures intolerable. And if there’s a tag on my shirt—forget about it. My body reacts intensely to sensory input, often making me crave a calm, less stimulating space—like a dark closet or a couch fort…unless the cushion fabric is too itchy, and then HARD PASS.

When My Brain and Body Don’t Cooperate

This one is a bit harder to explain, so here’s a personal example. I’ve been training in Muay Thai for years. My coach gives explicit instructions for combinations: a jab is a one, a cross is a two, a left hook is a three, and so on.

I know what the numbers mean. I know what my body should do in those moments. My body refuses to cooperate. I intend to throw a cross and end up throwing a hook. Sometimes, when I should punch, I’ll kick instead. It’s seven different levels of frustrating, and I’ll punch myself to get it right. Sometimes, I’ll even call out the numbers while I pummel myself. Anyone who’s ever trained in fighting knows that anger doesn’t help.

So, How Do I Calm Down?

Taking deep breaths and removing myself from triggering situations helps. But sometimes, even all the deep breaths in the world don’t do much, and I can’t exactly walk out of my daughter’s dance recital when "I Like to Move It, Move It" is rattling my eardrums.

Here’s a simple move I’ve learned that actually helps—and you’re probably already doing it without realizing it.

Take a deep breath and… drop your shoulders. Exaggerate the movement by pushing your shoulders down as far as possible, almost like you’re carrying a heavy suitcase in each hand.

When we get mad, overwhelmed, or enraged, our bodies tense up, and our shoulders lock. Loosening up the limps, taking long, deep breaths, and reminding yourself that the situation is entirely out of your control can make a surprising difference.

So next time you feel the rage bubbling up, try it. Drop your shoulders, breathe deeply, and let go of the tension. It might not fix everything, but it helps take the edge off.